dopamine

this artificially lit cement set scene
to the latest record of hip and run

in the alleys where i argued
that ignorance is not normalcy
she convinced me to no longer mind living
yet i still can’t wait to die

while strolling among the finless sharks
single mothers packing gold plated pistols
and gray air ascending into pink clouds
i cant help but want to break all my promises
that i made to this city

the pavement can hear my heart beat
it can tell when i’m nervous
and will rise to trip me

whats a little lost blood between you and an imaginary friend?

I’ve already forgotten
but
I can’t remember what..

The precipitation trickles down the glass
accentuated by the midday rainy grays
as the cleft in the window mints the air.
Inhale,
exhale.

At the peak of my serenity,
my memory wont surrender a thing.

Walking among the bookshelves,
I slide my fingers across the spines
before finally pulling one at random.
Ironically,
I choose to read at the arboretum.

The storm intensifies on the panes above
as the metal support creaks and cringes.
These words are senseless to me,
just small black printed pictures
on gritty tan eighties paper.

Lightning strikes;
A cumulonimbus flushes its anger
over a city where people are
shopping, fucking, sleeping, talking
and trying to remember.

In closing the book I agree to give up.
I place it back on it’s proper shelf
and wait for the sun tomorrow.

shuttereye

i knew my lives in glimpses of moments
posing
waiting
keen to see my interpretation
of their emotion
blinking to think in between
i would analyze their smiles
before permanently inscribing it on my memory
to be torn and refreshed at will

just words

rays will pass viscous matter
to make use of the room
where we watched incense burn
and if only they knew how
once they affected my speech
the words were thrown around
mystical
whatever
love
waterfalls
and poems
lines written in cryptic verse
to muddle the true meanings
as to not scare away those
who will never understand

i’m looking for anything that is not something
or maybe for the light to refract differently
on day one of many i’m still peeling sun burnt fingers
and fate and luck are still whores
and a liberally written FUCK stares back meaning nothing
and dvd’s whir until further notice
and hector is still innocent compared to us
and tomorrow is neck deep in ands
and i wrote a list of what is left to care about
and concluded this page with it

beretta lament

bid farewell to the pain
the frost on your skin
and fears of anything sharp
although the jealousy remains
incurable
with your eyes wide shut
and no pupils left
you feel yellow,
then caramel brown
and finally fade to a singed black
gritty on the edges
that you press with plastic
demanding more from life
than you deserve

now here I am
I’m that again
and then tomorrow too
beneath the shade
Venetian blinds
I sit and think of you

MILFK (mother id like to fucking kill)

a fleshy skinless marionette
with sun strings tugging serenade
most selfish writing I have ever read
indulgent in his own charade
despise-fed limbs emerge from marble pots
once seeded fertilized forgotten
wont ever see or be like she
has in her mind then coyly so begotten
ejaculate has marred the land
mementos beg their right reincarnation
look at the monster that’s emerged
from but a simple abomination
my vision thins your effervescent skin
but times are headed sunrise due
and fate has made her choice cut clean
we wont survive, but then neither will you